To my Bubba and Dree Dree

Jack and Audree:

Thank you for letting me be your mom. It constantly amazes me how many mistakes I can make in a day as a parent, and yet I come home to both of you and you call me "mommy" anyway. Jack, I look at your goofy little smile and see such a sensitive soul who loves with no conditions attached. It makes my heart happy and I wonder...what have I ever done to deserve you? And my Audree....your eyes are so full of wisdom already. You came into our family under such special circumstances, and during our quiet moments together I sense that you already know the meaning of life. You just came from this special place that we all long to return to, and I feel like you have a special understanding of that process.

Love, kindness, forgiving, gentleness, beauty.....all these things just spill out of you, my two wonderful children.

Thank you for letting me be your mom.

Introducing…….Audree Mary Flowers!!!!

Our little angel was born two short weeks ago, on November 16th at 8:05pm. The time she was born is pretty significant, because we almost didn’t make it to the hospital in time! Brice almost had to deliver this baby in the car on the way to the hospital. I learned quickly that the most terrifying words you can hear when you are in pretty nasty labor are “It’s too late for your epidural, honey.” It is somewhat ironic that little Audree wanted to come so quickly, considering that she made her arrival 5 days past her due date!

Needless to say, we love this little girl. I have often thought in these last few days of the miracle that we have just experienced, and how desperately our family needed something happy like this. She is beautiful! She reminds our family that there is good in the world, and that God is very aware of what lies in the deepest parts of our heart.

This little blessing is just what our family needed.

My little brother goes on a mission.....

My little brother, Jake, leaves for his mission to Mexico this next Wednesday. I am so proud of my courageous, faithful little brother. He knows exactly where God wants him to be for the next two years.....what a peaceful assurance! Though I live across the country already, I will miss him.....but I wait anxiously to see him when he comes back and to hear of those experiences that undoubtedly will cause him to change in a very special and unique way. It seems like yesterday that he was brought home from the hospital to our family....so small and so bald! Now, he has grown into this young man that the Lord trusts to do this very special and grown-up thing. Wow.

Poem for my Dad

As we are getting ready to see our little girl for the first time, my thoughts often turn to those she must leave behind. While we are excited for her to come, I often think about the time she is getting to spend with the family we have had to say goodbye to in the last few months. It is almost time for her to say goodbye to them too, and it reminds me of the mixed emotions of saying goodbye to our parents, and yet knowing EXACTLY where they were going. It's sad and happy, all at the same time.

I wrote a poem for my dad shortly after he died - man, does it still ache to say that. I don't know if that ache ever completely goes away. Because I know my little girl has to do the same thing I did a few short months ago, I've been thinking a lot about that poem and the feeling I put into it. Here it is:

Dad’s Poem
-from your Laura – May 2010

In the quiet of my heart
A crater has begun to form;
A massive excavation,
That wasn’t there before.

A mind that was once bright,
Now finds itself more dim;
And his family and friends find themselves
Already missing him.

Life around me changes
But no more so than in my heart.
It’s hard to draw a line between
Where the pain ends and where it starts.

And yet amidst uncertain ache
A quiet peace persists
A peace that only One can bring
A presence that can’t be missed.

Always one to hear the call
Of family and friends in need
Now he hears another voice
One we know that he will heed.

For another need awaits his care
And this call comes from above;
It comes from a voice he knows he must follow;
A voice he’s come to love.

For this is a man who knows the voice
Of his Savior, Jesus Christ;
He’s followed the example of the Son
In his own daily sacrifice.

So, as God calls my father home,
Though my heart is crumbling,
I can hear his answer clear as day;
“I hear the call; I’m coming.”

Jackson's first week at Preschool

Jack started his first full week of preschool this fall today. We had a rather interesting conversation on the way home that I though I'd relate:

Me: "How was your day at preschool today?"
Jack: "Fun."
Me: "What did you do?"
Jack: "Well, I tried to draw a picture."
Me: "What was the picture of?"
Jack: "I tried to draw a picture of you, mommy, but your body is so big that I couldn't get it all on the paper."

OUCH......

Meet our new little girl!!!!

We figured it was time for everyone to meet our new little sunshine. We are going to have a little girl, whom Jack has named "Light Sabor," around the first part of November. We are so excited - and we actually are still in a state of shock. Jack really doesn't know what to think.

Isn't she beautiful?

Even as I write this and look at her first picture, I get a few tears in my eyes. After such a hard year for our little family, we have been blessed with a special miracle. I know she is up in heaven getting acquainted with my dad and Brice's mom, and that in a few short months she'll being saying goodbye to them and to our Heavenly Father. She'll come to our family on earth with a mom and dad who've wanted her to come for a long time, and (hopefully!) to a big brother who appreciates the miracle that is this little girl.

We love her already!!!!

Family

This is what is most important. That's it.